1 A.M

Not an unusual time for me to still be up, awake, not quite sure what to do,but plenty to do.  I just finished a book that will be my first blog to write for Hay House, and I am excited!  My best friend visited tonight for dinner, and spent a good hour discussing options for my depressed and “non functioning” (her words) who is a sophomore at college 1,000 miles away basically.  I hate these types of nights of helpless feelings, and to make it worse knowing I ignored my instinct to drive up there this weekend. 

I ponder on the paradoxes of life brought through on some reading.  I find myself trying to re-ponder the word success at various times in my life.  Times i feel rich (not monetarily, as I do not consider that success in of itself).  But, how my thoughts emerge seemingly out of nowhere, and poof they are gone.  It happens thousands of times a day, and to know this feeling is a sense of richness.  Some Buddhists say that each thought is an exact replica of life and to open freely and fully to the flow of those thoughts is to open fully to life itself.  And yet, opposite view of that is by meditating we are quieting the flow of thoughts, enabling us to experience a still point (I believe this), but it is in this still point, where true wealth of richness lies.  Quite the paradox. 

Today would have also been my mother’s birthday.  She would have been 80, and yet she has been gone from this earth for 12 years.  I miss her daily still.  I hold pictures in memory and photograph, and laugh.  That is pretty rich indeed.


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