Category Archives: Quotes and Conversation

A Tribute to Mom

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Quote for ToDay

If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.
–Rollo May

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01/09/2015 · 4:11 PM

Are you living in the now?

For a long time, it had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
— Alfred D. Souza

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01/23/2014 · 4:44 PM

When a man sits…

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute – and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity. ~Albert Einstein

 

rel·a·tiv·i·ty

noun \ˌre-lə-ˈti-və-tē\

physics : a theory developed by Albert Einstein which says that the way that anything except light moves through time and space depends on the position and movement of someone who is watching

Cultural relativism is a concept that refers to the fact that what is regarded as true, valued, or expected in one social system may not be so in another. It is important for several reasons, the most important being that if we are more aware of cultural relativism, we tend to be less blind and arrogant in relation to other societies and less rigid in evaluating the idea of changing our own.

I seem to be much like my mother and my sister: we have always enjoyed (like so many others) trying to figure out PEOPLE… where they just came from, where they are going in such a hurry. Why it’s taking them so long to get there? What makes them crazy? What makes them laugh? What moves them, what their past is? What their future will be? Are they married, separated, do they have kids? What do they do? Do they do it well? What were they thinking when they got up this morning ? When they put that outfit on did they REALLY think they looked good?  Did they even care?  WHY would they dress like that? And so on..Judgmental? Curious? Bored? It’s all relative, right?

I also like to imagine people past and present. What really goes on behind the scenes? What isn’t revealed but clearly is happening? I have no idea if what I imagine is true, I just know it’s fun imagining.  I say ” this is the story I tell myself”. 

I wonder if Einstein was having all those psychological exchanges with his wives to all hours of the morning? It would make sense if you looked at his hair; he clearly wasn’t getting a lot of sleep. (is that where “bad hair day was coined?) I think not.  But, I find the older I get, the less i really care how my hair may look on any given day.  Some-days, I happen to glance in the rear view mirror while driving, and (a) am either shocked or (b) think to myself, “well, that’s not too bad today.  But, back to relativity….There’s the scientific Theory of Relativity (E=mc2) of course, then there’s the philosophical/ontological Theory of Relativity. Where everything is relative. Einstein liked being married; he did it twice.  (me too- although i didn’t like marriage #1 and I stayed way too long in marriage #2)   Now in my mental meanderings, I think Einstein was equally fascinated with human relationships and all things relationship as much as his scientific fascination.

So, most of Einstein’s thinking got mined from relationships – those long nights of screaming of what’s relevant/relative/. Newton couldn’t have discovered relativity; he was never married. You can’t get E=mc2 just by being a good uncle.

Einstein knew the power of the “Appropriate Relationship.”

The ontological Theory of Relativity was the understanding of how we are relative to one another. Sun too close you burn up, too far away you freeze to death. All development/progress depends on having “Appropriate Relationships”. This same theory applies to human closeness and relativity as well, in my way of thinking.  Think about it.

And appropriate relationship does not mean culturally appropriate or socially dictated appropriate relationships. It means there’s a certain rightness – a physics to what works.

Just like “close talkers” always have bad breath. They don’t get the appropriate space between two individuals. So understanding your own relativeness, your own relevance, your very specific contribution, was Einstein’s desire for Humanity. Rather than being comparative and complaining about what you are not, you discover how you are relative to the world.

 

 

 

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11/06/2013 · 2:54 PM

2 A.M

The hours are slipping now into early morning. It was the type of day, where everything I expected of the day and of myself was completely different. I drug myself out of bed for a 9a.m Dr appt.  I was 15 minutes late. I came straight home, and talked my dogs into a nap. Next thing I knew it was noon.  Knowing I had a 2:00 appt, I planned to get desk work done.  Instead, I got laundry done, vacuumed, dusted, and left for my 2:00 dr. Appt at…2:00.  Once again, out of integrity by being late.  

But, upon my return home, and a short walk with the dogs, I felt renewed. I stopped to visit a neighbor, whose husband is dying. She went into the house and brought me a copy of the full Serenity Prayer. She asked if I was familiar with it. I assured her, I lived by the poem, and thanked her. We ended up laughing about ways we were going to get the cars that drive on our street to slow down from 50++ mph to the posted 30. My plan is to throw apples at their car, hers is to ask the police station to give her a radar gun.

Funny how laughter can completely change the day. Along with a nice dose of 74 degree weather and full sun. It’s been way too long like a day such as this

My gratitude is great today. I know that when I choose to “stretch” beyond what has been comfortable or familiar, I may encounter internal barriers; barriers that keep me connected to what is familiar and common. It is during these moments when I can do my part only, surrender these difficulty and ask for Divine intervention. It is such great comfort for me to know that I am not alone in my spiritual journeying. 

There are human and divine resources abundantly available to me. Nature will also support and empower my sojourn into the realms of service and contribution.

Today I have the courage to utilize these resources. Blessings on your day upon waking. I hope to get up by 8:30. Time will tell!

 

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Quote…gotta love it.

Actually, it is on a dish towel I bought in New Orleans this past trip.

” Here in the South, we don’t HIDE CRAZY. We parade it around on the porch and give it a cocktail.  And second, (which happens to be my life philosophy) life’s journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, “Holy Cow, ” what a ride!”

 

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ToDay…

English: The lonely Poppy Near the entrance to...

English: The lonely Poppy Near the entrance to Home Farm adjacent to Broad Balk Lane. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

ToDay


–Betty MacDonald. ” when I am lonely, I think of Angels”

We need comfort when we feel lonely. Loneliness is often coupled with fear. We wonder, Can I handle what faces me today? Often we think we can’t. But we don’t ever have to face any situation alone, or handle any painful relationship in isolation. The “angels” who guide and protect us are as close as our thoughts.

Twelve Step programs give us the freedom to define our Higher Power in any way that suits us. Believing our Higher Power is an angel satisfies our need to have someone watching over us, protecting us wherever we are, loving us despite our failings.

We are nurtured or harmed by the thoughts we carry in our minds. Imagining an angel or a ring of angels to walk us through each day relieves our loneliness and dissipates our fears.

I have a friend in my Higher Power. We’ll be together throughout this day.

how this applies to me today, I have been feeling lonely, isolated, unglued.  This reminded me I am not any of these things unless I choose to.  I may be feeling this way, but I choose to not let it define me.  Perhaps I am simply in a state of ” in between”.  This place is always uncomfortable for me.  It is out of my comfort zone.  But, as I read this, I am enlightened once again my the power of my choice.

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02/05/2013 · 9:54 AM

Dream Quote 2

Horses

Horses (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

 

A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face.  It is one of the few havens remaining where a man’s mind can get both provocation and privacy.  ~Edward P. Morgan

 

 

 

Dreams are a big part of my life.  In large part, because I do not sleep much due to a condition called musical hallucinations.  So, it creates an abundance of stress, and actions on my part to distract myself as much as possible so the music in my brain does not totally drive me crazy…or crazier.  So, when i AM able to sleep and to dream, it is wonderful.  I have always loved dream interpretation  and lucid dreams,, and writing down my dreams.  Many, Many times, my dreams are a premonition of something soon to happen.  I have visitors when I dream at times, and have learned to welcome the knowledge I gain through dreams.   I love the exhilaration of power when we believe in ourselves enough to know we can make our dreams come true.  I believed enough that “one day” i would own a Horse.  Everyone was “yeah, they are too expensive, too much upkeep, blah, blah blah”,For far too many years, I gave up on my dream and listened to others fears.  Until one day I chose to listen to my dream.   Last year, i attended a habitat for horses and adopted my first horse ever.  I was 48.  I spent 4-5 days easily out at the stable for 4++ hours at a time.  I was in pure selfish heaven.  I saved this horse, learned about her, and built our trust.  She has been a treasure in my life, but has turned out to be a reason or a season dream.  I must relinquish her in part to some health issues.  It has been devastating.  But the blessing was the time I had her, our lessons we learned together on the trail, and to carry out a dream.  Happy trails.

 

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Quotes & Conversations

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.  ~Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from “The Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Neibuhr

I am a big believer in the true & complete version of the serenity prayer.  When my 14-year-old son was reeling out of control from advanced drug use, there were nights the only way I could fall asleep was to repetitively say this out-loud. When morning came,Ii gave my thanks that one or both of us was still alive. 

I heard this other version at a 12 step meeting one day, and of course we all laughed.  But, as you work on your own recovery, and it doesn’t matter if it is AA, Al Anon, OA, GA, SA….the truth is the same.  All change begins with me. 

My son has a dual diagnosis, and now at the age of 29 it is still hard to know at times when love is love, when it is easier to enable him, or am I detaching with love.  My sister was an addict from about the age of 12.  Of course, back in the 70’s, no one knew what that was, or that incest could be the culprit.  We watched her function many years as an addict, until she couldn’t anymore.  I lived in the same state, so although I was the “baby sister”, I never was the baby in our family of origins.  I watched her life slip away year by year, until the last 12 months of her life became unbearable.  By that time she had 10++ years sober, but her health was so bad, and she was addicted to her pain pills.  I felt like once again, I was paying her bills, buying her groceries, driving her to Dr. appointment, and watching her suffer.  The difference this time was she was not on crack.  She was on pain patches and pain pills and had an apartment to live in (barely).  The good thing by this time, I had over 12++ years invested in recovery as well.  I could separate the disease from the person (most days). 

The last 4 days of my sister’s life in April 2011, were perhaps the best 4 days of our entire lives.  I smoked with her (this put me into smoker status), drank coffee, ate M&M’s.  Walked her dog, pushed her in her wheelchair.  And accepted her choice of the end of her journey.  It was the most peaceful and serene I had witnessed her being in such a long time.  I could never change her.  I tried for so long.  I wanted a better life for her, that wasn’t up to me to decide, it just left her feeling judged and not good enough.  I miss her quirky laugh, and her strange sense of humor.  I would not change those last 4 days for anything.  I finally changed.

 

 

 

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Quote & Response

Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something.  ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I read this, and relate.  It is life.  Every person has a story.  I love listening to people, and amazed at what so many have triumphed through, sad for those that live like the walking dead, and yet can understand how and why that can happen.

I afraid of loving too much & losing myself.  I love laughter. I love random acts of kindness.  I love the sound of people talking with passion.  I too, like all, have lost something and too many someones.  I have lost body parts to cancer, i have lost family and friends and strangers to drug over doses.  I have lost friends to breast cancer. I have lost touch with friends due to my deafness, depression, lives becoming too entangled in meaningless things.  And, yet this quote does not embrace all that is gained in each breath.  The kindness of people.  That is the bottom line.  Be Kind.  We never know what someone else may be struggling with.

 

 

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