Tag Archives: blog 101

Waiting on ” That Call”

This is about parenting an addict- so, if you have that experience, you know “what call” I refer to.  It seems that most of 2014 was spent anticipating “that call”, praying for the best-preparing for the worst, lovingly detaching as a means of self preservation, going to more of my own meetings, loving the person not the disease, and all the other usual addiction jargon.

My son (as mentioned before) is 31.  He was addicted to crack by the time he was 16.  He also had a dual diagnosis, so it made it just as difficult to tell if he was psychotic or had relapsed.  He is a master at manipulation.  He can charm you, out sell you, and talks so fast and so convincingly that most people will be swayed.  I still want to believe him.

I got a call on Christmas night.  One of only three directly from him.  The rest came as “news updates” from a girlfriend.  He told me he was sober, and was really trying.  He wants to prove to himself and to me that he can be all that GOD meant for him to be, as well as a son I could be proud of.  I let him do most of the talking, and for the next 3 weeks I have been updated to the trials and tribulations that he is facing in sobriety.  The biggest obstacle is finding housing since he was in jail so many times for possession.  He has always been lucky that way.  Seems to find the revolving door in jail.  Doesn’t seem so lucky in every day life.

I truly want him to find the serenity and peacefulness of sobriety.  I want him to have some “good luck” and for things to get easier somewhere along his path.  But, I can’t make it happen.  And, money only solves money problems.  It’s a fine line in believing and trusting him again.  I got a text yesterday that he was in the E.R after having a headache so severe the last 3 days he couldn’t tolerate it anymore.  I thanked for girlfriend for keeping me posted, and asked her to update me.  Haven’t heard a word.  Just prior to the hospital, he had sounded positive and upbeat, and thought they may be approved to live somewhere other than Motel 6.  And, then off the radar.  Again.  I am left wondering and waiting.

It is sad.  It is heartbreaking at times.  We “understand” death through dying.  But, when we lose people that are still alive because of drugs, it is a slow, painful, death to endure.  I have to focus on the good memories, and I am grateful for the ones I have.  If I focus on my daughter also losing her brother, and her sadness, that often makes the grieving harder.  To know how much my son has missed out on in everyone’s life, especially the past 2-3 years combined.

Pray. Listen. Quiet.Repeat.

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The Awe of Recovery

Oscar Wilde once wrote that “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.” My experience over the past 14 years in working with recovery , being in recovery, relapsing in recovery,  proves to me that there’s some truth to his observation – life is often stranger, just as interesting, just as surprising, and just as exciting as fiction.  I checked out a fellow Blog yesterday (part of BLOG 101 homework); and left a comment.  And, as @MichelleW indicated, it did make me think more.  Here is the link http:\\attheroomsproject.org Continue reading

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Parenting An Addict

My son is 31 and a recovering addict.  He has been an addict since the age of 15.  My jaw still drops some when I realize more than half his life WE have battled addiction.  I am a cancer survivor, and in my opinion, I almost prefer it.  Perhaps, because it is me, and not watching on the sidelines as your child self-destructs.  Perhaps….

Artist - Lucille Clerc

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Mother Teresa

I saw this on a blog I really admire and follow=http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog

It speaks; let us all listen

Do-it-anyway-mother-teresa

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A Tribute to Mom

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Filed under Quotes and Conversation, Reality Based

Dear Dream Reader:

 

  • I have been so inspired by your blogs (and then YOUR book).  The way you put IT OUT there and are so honest, and so willing to take the emotional risk of being so honest.  THAT inspires me.  Your humor, I totally get it.  Your life story.  WOW.  I relate to so much, and yet am left shaking my head in awe at the obstacles you overcame.  The letters you write to your son, to inspire him and for him to read one day, are things they should teach in parenting classes.  I think parenting classes (especially in today’s world, should be REQUIRED).  They should include “Marriage” requirement classes as well.  That is my education reform recommendations.
    We talked about Humility tonight in a step study meeting.  “Humbly asked HIM to remove our character defects”-what an amazing topic and the feedback-WOW-  I remembered in an instant flashback of standing in Sedona, AZ at Church of Holy Cross, and taking my step 7 for the first time.
    I have been wondering tonight WHY do so many people blog.  It obviously (as I am learning) takes hours.  I gave up face-book over a year ago because of the time I spent on it.  So, to be a successful blogger, do you have to also be connected to social media?  It also appears, that many (successfully vs unsuccessfully) attempt to make a living, or at least money by their blogs.  Not “pie in the sky” book deal money, but simple requests to send some if you so feel inclined.  Really?  And people obviously do!  Another WOW in my day.
    Our blog 101 requirement today was to insert something outside the normal.  I wanted to insert the spotify link for the lyrics to Dream Weaver.  As of this moment, I can only paste the lyrics.  But, this song comes to my mind tonight as I ponder this assignment.  And, since I am a day late in the assignment category, I actually had two posts today.  Sorry.  Won’t happen again.  Reminds me too much of why I went off FB;  beyond multiple updates and posts from the same people upteen times a day.  Is blogging just another EGO boost?  I hope not.  I don’t think so.  I need the writing practice, the canvass so to speak.  So, look over the lyrics to the song (below) and feel free to send me a comment.  Apparently followers and comments in the blog world mean something!  Thanks!
    Dream Weaver
    Song by Gary Wright
  • I have just closed my eyes again
    Climbed aboard the Dream Weaver train
    Driver take away my worries of today
    And leave tomorrow behind
    Dream Weaver, I believe you can get me through the night
    Dream Weaver, I believe we can reach the morning light
    Fly me high through the starry skies
    Or maybe to an astral plane
    Cross the highways of fantasy
    Help me to forget today’s pain
    Dream Weaver, I believe you can get me through the night
    Dream Weaver, I believe we can reach the morning light
    Though the dawn may be coming soon
    There still may be some time
    Fly me away to the bright side of the moon
    And meet me on the other side
    Dream Weaver, I believe you can get me through the night
    Dream Weaver, I believe we can reach the morning light

 

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