Tag Archives: life

The Quality of the Journey

Today’s assignment asks: who are you and why are you here….

I am a woman exploring my shadows.  I have always felt somewhat destined to “write”, and have usually sabotaged myself, or put it on the back burner, for reasons I no longer remember.  I am a survivor, a friend, a sister, a mother, a wife, and usually a good person. (I will save the dark side for another blog).  I have a lot of life experience in a variety of things.  I am compassionate, but can be a hard-ass.  I am loyal, and understanding.  I am stubborn.  I realize daily there is still so much more to learn and grasp.

I hope to learn from the BLOG 101 series the better way to blog and share, and post and tag and gain followers.  I tend to write about life in the world of addiction, manic-depressive issues, honesty, my dogs, friends, lack of understanding something, deaf issues,living next door to my mother-n-law, or other small irritating things.  But, I also like to motivate, and write about gratitude.  I like to pass on “just read books” that I think are great.

I am choosing life.  And, in doing so I am fulfilling some passions, and finding new ones.  I think this might be one of them!

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Are you living in the now?

For a long time, it had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
— Alfred D. Souza

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01/23/2014 · 4:44 PM

1:55 AM-on the deaf subject

I just read up on Derrick Coleman, and I must say I am quite impressed.  I am deaf.  I have bi lateral cochlear implants, that were activated 2 years ago exactly.  The journey has been stressful, frustrating, lonely, happy, funny, and exhausting.  What I love about Derrick, is he hasn’t allowed his hearing disability to define him.  HE IS GOING TO BE IN THE SUPERBOWL!  GO DERRICK!

It is HARD to be deaf in a hearing persons world.  But, LIFE is fucking hard sometimes!  I can throw a really damn good pity party, but in all honesty I am better off than many “hearing” people.  I worked for years in counseling, and MOST of the time, people didn’t know i was severely hearing impaired unless I told them.  I adjusted by reading body language, lip reading, and pretending a lot! (LOL).  When my hearing suddenly worsened, and I just couldn’t fake it anymore, it did begin to affect my life.  One tends to socialize less and avoid loud places-which cuts out lots of restaurants.  And, i don’t know about other “hard of hearing” people, but when i still had my hearing, i tended to “like” people with loud voices better than those with soft voices!  I found myself making a judgment call based on voice pattern and tone! 

But, guess what?  Getting cochlear implants did NOT make or break my life. I traded in any residual hearing I had for zero.  So, for all the technicality and deaf culture issues and debtate over the cochlear shit, I AM DEAF.  When i do not have them attached to my skull by their magnetic force, i can not HEAR a thing.  Not my own voice.  Not my own heart beat. Not a cry for help, Nor a barking dog warning me of danger. 

When talking on the phone is not an option, one tends to feel very blessed for the great invention of “texting”.  It truly does become  a main communication source.  Closed Captioning makes or breaks watching something on TV.  And slapping those magnetic, magic and heavy implants on your skull every day, can be a pain in the ass.  It is not just about putting on a pair of glasses.  You gotta charge the batteries every night, attach the batteries, before placing the cochlears on.Deal with throbbing skull points from magnets on your brain.  There are “mapping” issues, and remote issues, and noise issues, and some sounds are just always going to now just be noise.  Nothing more; Nothing less.  The artificial sounds and extra stimulation that hearing people learn to “tune out” are amplified and extreme when one has cochlear attached.  But, guess what?  When i am on a plane, and a screaming baby is next to me, i pop my magnets off, and I hear NOTHING.  Pretty nice, huh?  When the TV is so loud and I am the only once cringing, I pop those babies off, and bask in the quiet.  Why bitch about a loud TV?

Life is not right nor wrong.  Not Good or Bad.  I can choose to make it my enemy or make it my Bitch.  And, on some days, I am THE Bitch.  The End.

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Closed Caption Glasses at THE THEATRE

As my blog duly notes, I am deaf.  I am a bi lateral cochlear recipient.  This month, is my 2 year activation date.  It has been a rewarding struggle.  Going to the movies, has basically been non existent for at least 8 years.  I tried to go, but lip reading through a whole movie is simply exhausting!  About 2 months ago, a friend and I went to AMC.  They did not have the glasses, but they had the caption fish gadget that sits in the beverage holder, and streams out the caption.  The movie sucked, but the caption gadget was GREAT.  I was just so excited to actually GO TO THE MOVIES!

On New Years Eve, my husband and best friend attended a cinema in New Orleans.  They touted having the Caption Glasses!  Game ON.   We saw a FANTASTIC movie (Wolf on Wall Street).  They had the GLASSES.  I thought, WOW this is going to be AWESOME.  I was WRONG.  The glasses stream out a neon GREEN caption (instead of white).  Depending on how you have your head, the caption could stream across the screen, and blend in with the scenery, or I guess if you hold your head perfectly (which i achieved at sporadic moments) it projects above the actual movie screen.  I had a HEADACHE from trying to hold my head the correct way, the weight of the glasses, the NEON GREEN (SERIOUSLY?), and straining to see the screen without my distance glasses.  There is no comfortable way ( I could be wrong) to wear these, have them sit approximately the same place as the cochlear ear piece sits, AND wear prescription glasses to see.

I don’t get it.  WHO TESTED these glasses out for deaf people before selling them to theaters?  Is it like so many other “inventions”, those that use them aren’t consulted?  I seriously don’t get it.  I am sure these glasses are EXPENSIVE.  Give me the AMC system any day over the glasses.

ALL THAT said, KUDOS to finally getting a devise in place that the deaf community can at least go to the movies!  PRAISES be to the multitude of companies that have decided to help a large number of consumers, that although deaf do have money to spend,  AND are willing to spend if we can “hear” the damn movie!

I do hope GOOGLE GLASS, can learn form SONY’S design flaws, and perhaps actually use deaf persons in testing them, for accurate and honest feedback.  One could only hope this to be a logical outcome.  I thoroughly enjoyed my 2014 New Years Eve-design flaws and all.  The movie was spectacular.  I could have done without the neon green glare of caption.  BUT…I saw and “heard” a movie for the most part!


Filed under Daily Challenges, Daily Life, Reality Based

Quote…gotta love it.

Actually, it is on a dish towel I bought in New Orleans this past trip.

” Here in the South, we don’t HIDE CRAZY. We parade it around on the porch and give it a cocktail.  And second, (which happens to be my life philosophy) life’s journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, “Holy Cow, ” what a ride!”


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Filed under Living In New Orleans, Quotes and Conversation

Daily Thought

May I remind you that nothing can occur in your life experience without your invitation of it through your thoughts. You have invited it in.

Let’s create the “best thoughts” guest list for our future together, ok?

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Life Changes

A mere dream in 1997, has become our reality.  After a first visit to New Orleans, and spending much time here over the last 16 years, we have finally purchased a home.  It is moving week, from the house we leased for a year to be sure we liked it here as much as we thought.

Living in the residential area of the F.Q is fantastic.  I love being able to just walk everywhere.  I love seeing the local people walking their dog.  It is even funny to watch the way too drunk person run into poles, as i peer from my balcony.

But, it is a life change, and brings with it fear of changes.  While we will still keep our house in TX as well, and split our time.  “My Life”, “My Friends”, are all in TX.  And, yet while here my creativity surges.  I feel alive, free-spirited, less responsible, almost a little guilty.

i am reminded of a favorite quote

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.  ~Havelock Ellis smile


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Filed under Living In New Orleans, Reality Based

In life we all …

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love. ~Diego Marchi

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01/18/2013 · 7:09 PM